The Most Annoying Songs In The World

 There are many great songs out there, songs that make us feel good about something, like saving a bus full of school kids from a gun toting lunatic......oh wait that's Dirty Harry. Songs that remind us of that special someone, no not your mom by the way. And songs to start a bar fight to. Then there are those other songs we remember. The kind of vocally diarrhea that fills our hearts with rage and makes us want to choke slam the bastard who thought this was music. Songs so annoying, so vile, they make you want to adopt the fetal position under a desk and cry out while shaking to make the bad man stop. Here is a list of tunes whose only purpose should be to torture Al-Qaeda detainees at Guantanamo Bay Cuba (Cuba is such a beautiful country this time of year)

Ah the 80's, such an odd decade. On one side you have all this cool stuff like Knight Rider, Metallica, Miami Vice, and the A-Team (can't wait for the movie it's going to be awesome) But then there is the dark side of the 80's. Things like New Wave, bad haircuts, and pastel colored pants. And then there is this song, if there ever was a sure sign of the end times it's this song. And what the hell is wrong with Boy George?

 I honestly don't even know where to begin with this song, it's like the perfect storm. It has bad dance moves, screeching lyrics that make you feel as if your getting a frontal lobotomy. And pink shirts and short shorts. It's music like this that made Hitler want to invade Poland in the first place because all this song is good for is pissing people off. I guarantee if you play this song in your car on a first date your never going to get any action..........unless your date's name happens to be Brucie.

Okay I'm going to come right out and say it, If I ever meet Vanilla Ice I'm going to punch him in the face for creating this piece of hip hop crap. Not only did he create this hunk of verbal garbage but he convinced almost an entire generation of lonely white kids that you too could be a rapper. I'm sure after this video was released tonnes of nerdy kids were beaten up for the lunch money for singing this song.

What they hell were they thinking when they wrote this song? Was this suppose to be a practical joke gone bad and the 80's was the punch line, I don't know. But what I do know is that every time I've watched this video I'm left feeling sexually confused and moody. Just as I'm sure the lead singer of this one hit wonder felt when they made this video.

 The king of the mullet, Billy Ray Cyrus This song proves that you can have no talent, singing skill, or a good haircut and still be famous. However the price of that fame will be decades and decades of mockery for creating the theme song for white trash everywhere. And it doesn't end there his daughter has ascended the throne and produced volumes of crap herself, and she's not even old enough to vote yet.

 You drink some whiskey drink, you drink some lager drink........you need to drink something to drown this broken record called a song. Sure it was cool the first hundred times you heard it, hell I thought it was pretty cool at first to. But now every time I hear it I feel like I'm going to explode, turn into the Hulk and smash stuff. Thank god this band only had one hit.

 When I was just a young naive army recruit back in 1999, I would go to the bars to blow off some steam and relax from a hard week of getting called a maggot and sack of hammers. But how the hell can one relax when every pub, bar, club, and Ford Tempo that drove past me on the street was playing this tune. After an hour I would be so pissed I could probably burn a hole in the sun by starring at it long enough. It wouldn't just be me either, It seemed that whenever this song was played bar fights would break out, leading me to conclude this was a government mind control experiment.

 Have you ever been to Mexico? If you have you know all about those annoying vans with the old speakers strapped on with bungee cords blasting incoherent stuff about night clubs....I think? Anyway the same annoying feeling you get from hearing one of those vans stagger by at 02:00 (that's 2 am for you civilian types) blasting the same message at you over and over and over and over again while your trying to sleep off a hangover is exactly the feeling your left with when you hear this song on the radio. It just really gets on your nerves.

 Perhaps your a little confused about this last choice of mine. "Why Snake Eyes would you pick this one? I mean it has a young Britney Spears dressed as a cheerleader shaking her pom pom's." Have you ever actually listened to this song? If you have then you know her goat yodelling can shatter glass at 100 meters. And like Medusa who if you looked upon would turn you to stone, playing this on your Ipod will turn you into a vegetable. Let's just enjoy it the way nature intended and keep the volume on mute shall we.

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